More than a little demoralising

I do try not to be a cynic…

Sometimes ‘the world we live in’ makes it just a little too difficult, however.

Take, for instance, the issue of road deaths which has finally begun to blow up in the faces of our ever-useless government. Not that they’re paying much attention - far too busy planning the next ten weeks of sunbathing for that kind of thing. Representation? Well I suppose given the number of Irish people currently semi-permanently residing on the costa del sol it does seem only fair that our elected representatives spend half their year there too.

I observed recently that most ‘popular’ newspapers in the country - by which I mean the best sellers, the Irish Independent, the Star, the Sun, the Herald, et al. - are blatantly and brutally anti-government at this point. Pleading, begging, imploring the people of this nation to take to heart the various and ever-growing number of crises caused, and for that matter dreadfully badly handled, by the shower of morons in the Dáil. And yet, as my hero in life keeps pointing out, it will likely make no difference on polling day. Depressing stuff really.

Every day we hear of more deaths on the roads but some are harder to bear. Today’s headline story of a 15 month old girl… proof, as if it were necessary, that words are seldom if ever enough in such circumstances.

Meanwhile the world has in no uncertain terms gone to the dogs. As yesterday’s Irish Times cartoon illustrated (apologies!), we might all be better off hopping on a space shuttle and simply running away. Would that it were an option.

In the middle east, a newfound level of chaos seems to have descended. When Dermot Ahern is heralding WW3 you know you’re in deep. A third world war is something that nobody can afford to joke about, if only for the certainty that there can never be a fourth. While Mutually Assured Destruction might once have been a deterrent, the fact that certain world leaders (and one in particular) are quite clearly MAD all by themselves has removed that reassurance and left us only with the certainty of a total war. Our only hope is to stop it now before it starts.

News today that the aforementioned pathetic-excuse-for-a-world-leader has “given” Israel another week to wipe out a few hundred more civilians (gratis?) is more than a little unsettling.

In the meantime, a tsunami in Indonesia at the weekend has so far left 340 dead and nearly the same again missing, but the world (media) is sick of that story so nobody knows, or nobody cares?

And best of all, that most righteous of wars, that glorious battlefront, the invasion of Iraq on behalf of the (christian?) right has successfully ensured that 6,000 Iraqi civilians were killed in the months of May and June. But let’s keep that one quiet, wouldn’t want anyone getting the wrong impression.

Finally, much, much closer to home, a Bus Éireann (in other words funded-by-our-glorious-goFFerment) contract for retro-fitting (that sounds like a 70s disco move) seat-belts to buses (you know, so that more kids don’t lose their lives in horific, avoidable accidents on the way to and from school every morning) has been shown to be paying South African workers a grand total of €2.78 per hour. Why? Because they could bloody well get away with it.

As I said, it’s bloody demoralising.

Add to that my letter of the day…

Madam, - Your edition of July 17th quotes Taoiseach Bertie Ahern as saying: “The people who can do something about it, to be frank with you, are the people who are driving cars every day.”

Surely the people who can do something about it are the members of the Government. Responsibility for road safety is their job. It is and always was.

Government will, or lack of it, on road safety can be judged by its policy towards provisional drivers. Anyone over 17, who may never have driven on the road and does not even have to show that he or she is competent to drive, can get a provisional licence and immediately drive without supervision.

Experience in other countries has shown that road carnage will not reduce until the Government and makes it a priority. This Government appears to be unaware of its responsibility in this area. “A lot dead, more to die” is not too far wrong.

KEVIN TREACY,

New Ross,

Co Wexford.

Mr. Browne strikes again: bravo, sir…

No appetite for curbing road deaths

We could end all road deaths and all serious injury on the roads if we wanted to. The problem is we don’t want to, wrties Vincent Browne.

We believe a certain road death toll and road accident toll is acceptable, or at least an acceptable price to pay for our liberty to drive lethal vehicles at lethal speeds. We accept a level of road deaths, we accept a level of maiming and horrific injuries on the roads, in return for convenience.

If there was a law that every vehicle had to be preceded by someone waving a red flag and that law was enforced, there would be no road deaths, no serious injury on the roads. At a single stroke, we could end the carnage. But this proposal is dismissed as ridiculous. Ridiculous because it would deprive us at a stroke of all the advantages of motorised private transport? Yes, it would, but why ridiculous? Ridiculous because the “balance” is not right.

A proposal to disable all road vehicles from being driven at more than 10 miles an hour (yes, it would take 16 hours to drive to Cork from Dublin) would also be regarded as “unbalanced”, ie, not the appropriate balance between road speed and an acceptable attrition on the roads - ie, an acceptable death toll and serious injury toll.

Take a more “balanced” proposal: to disable road vehicles from being driven at more than 70kph (about 43mph) and the confiscation of every road vehicle that was found capable of being driven at more than that limit (yes, there would be problems with cars coming in from abroad and across the Border from Northern Ireland, but leave those complications aside for the moment). There is no way the car lobby would have that. “Unreasonable” and “unbalanced”, it would say, even though such a move would reduce road deaths significantly, maybe to about 100 per year. But still not the proper balance.

Well then, how about a “balance” between 200 road deaths and an enforced speed limit on all roads of 90kph (56mph)? It would be enforced by having governors on all road vehicles disabling their capacity to be driven over that speed. Still not on. Especially the idea of governors. This would cause more road deaths, we would be told, because drivers would not be able to drive with sufficient speed to get out of danger situations (or some variant of same). The idea of vehicles being disabled from being driven over whatever the limit is apparently is not “balanced” either.

We could put a dent in road death numbers and road accidents if we were to ordain that nobody who did not pass a real test of driving proficiency was allowed drive on the roads. That’s not on either.

We could put a dent in fatality and injury numbers were we to ordain that anyone caught driving with any alcohol in their system would be barred from driving forever and have their vehicle confiscated. That’s not “balanced” either.

One of the arguments against these proposals is that you have to bring the populace with you, that there is no point in introducing measures for which there is no public support. Precisely my point. There is no public support for the measures that, realistically, would end road deaths and road injuries at a stroke. No public support for measures that would put a significant dent in road fatalities and serious injury.

But the point does not end there. One of the reasons there is no public support for measures that would end or significantly curtail road deaths and injuries is because there is nobody arguing the case in public. No Government Minister, no leading Opposition politician, no public figure.

No public figure such as the chairman of the Road Safety Authority, Gay Byrne.

Gay says the problem is that people don’t drive responsibly, which is of course true. But this misses or avoids the issue, which is: what regulations should the State put in place to ensure people drive responsibly? Were Gay to use his venerable celebrity and new status to argue for measures that would make a serious impact on road safety, we might get somewhere. Were Gaybo to say: we have got to sacrifice convenience here to save lives, sacrifice the liberty to drive at lethal speeds, sacrifice the liberty to drive at all with alcohol taken, sacrifice the entitlement to drive unless it is established we can drive safely, responsibly and expertly (and such tests need to be repeated every five years), there might be a little more public support for measures that would really make a difference.

I would give up driving a car, owning a car, if I was required to have a man out front waving a red flag to get people out of the way. I would use public transport always, which need not be encumbered by such restrictions.

And were others to do the same we would not just have no road deaths but would also have a saner, cleaner environment, and we would free up resources to cope with every other local social problem we can think of. But that’s not on either.

© The Irish Times

Utter Nonsense

The papers today are filled with news that Gay Byrne’s resignation is being sought. Apparently the 12 road-deaths in a 48 hour period earlier this week are his fault.

This is the logic of the great nation we inhabit. Carnage on the roads is solved by the chairman of an advertising committee being pressured to resign. How fantasticallly nonsensical. What on earth is that meant to achieve?

Not that the Road Safety Authority doesn’t do more than that. But they are not the ones who need to solve this problem. The responsibility for ending the epidemic of slaughter on our roads falls to two distinct groups, neither of whom seem remotely committed to doing a damned thing about it.

The government have a fundamental responsibility to legislate when all else is clearly failing. The time for half-measures (including the seemingly useless penalty points system) is well and truly over. Another death this morning means that 12 families have been devastated THIS WEEK. And it’s only Wednesday. What does it take for something to change? Surely there are TDs who have been touched by this increasingly desperate situation. Surely somebody within the Dáil chambers has lost a loved one. Statistically at this point they must have. So why the inaction?

I would love to be able to believe that it has nothing to do with the upcoming election. FF will not challenge farmers or publicans before that election (or, for the record, after). FF will challenge no norms for fear of pissing off the people that are frankly stupid enough to fall for the SSIA-bribe. What is needed to solve this crisis is strong government, airtight legislation, and absolutely zero tolerance.

Yes, you heard me, zero tolerance. Realistically nothing else has worked, let’s try something new and crazy called total sobriety. An alien concept I know, but work with me here. Permissable blood alcohol level should be zero, and no, I do not care that that means the-morning-after-the-night-before you still can’t drive and that you have to go to work. We all know people who wake up drunk the morning after, and just because you are almost conscious enough to sit at your desk entering numbers onto a datasheet all day does not give you the right to take my life in your hands. Blood alcohol level zero.

First offence? Get off the road. Never done a test but been driving on a provisional for 15 years and have picked up one or too foibles but ah sure that’s just the way? Get off the road.

Maybe I’m crazy, and maybe I’m the only one, but I would in an instant vote for a government with the pure balls to properly legislate against the constant irresponsibility perpetrated on the roads around this country on a daily basis.

Which brings me to the second group who will never willingly take responsibility for the carnage. Us. We, the people.

Every driver in this country. Every licensed driver, every unlicensed driver, everyone in between. We watch the ads, horrified by the images of children killed because of that one-drink-too-many the night before. We change the channel, because we get the idea, we know the message, don’t drink and drive, ah but sure only the one won’t do any harm.

We are a fantastically irresponsible group of people and somehow we have washed our hands of all responsibility - individual and collective - for murdering each other and each other’s children on a daily basis. We sleep soundly at night because after the three pints we had with the lads we managed to mostly stay on our own side of the road on the way home. We watch as those with two or three pints more than they should leave the pub and hop in the car to drive themselves the five miles home. Ah sure they’ll be grand, they’ve been driving for years. They know the roads. It’s quiet this time of night anyhow. Absolute C-R-A-P.

We are a pathetic, pitiful group of people if we can honestly continue to tell ourselves that this is somebody else’s fault. The nonsensical witch-hunt in today’s papers is perhaps the first sign of that denial beginning to crack.

Gay Byrne is not the one who’s resignation should be called for, and it is utterly laughable that he can be hounded in a way that the Minister for Health, the Minister for Justice, and in this case the Minister for Transport have avoided. The entire government, in fact, should, and must, be held responsible for their gross negligience in this area (and so many others). Police officers who let Jack Spratt off with a warning when he has four pints on him should be held accountable. Publicans who serve alcohol to those driving and who watch them get in their cars afterwards should be held accountable. We must all be held accountable for our own actions, and more so our own total inaction on this issue.

It is already too late for too many.

My New Hero

I have a new hero in life.

Her name is Denise Saul, and she has done what hundreds of thousands of her fellow citizens have woefully failed to do over the last decade.

She has, single-handedly, held Mary Harney to account for the shambles that is our health system.

She has managed to publicly embarass a woman, and a government, who would seem to have no shame.

She should be given the freedom of every city in the state.

She should have a hospital built in her honour and named after her.

She should be thanked, individually, by every citizen of this state. Every day. For the rest of her life.

But most of all, she should never have had to do it in the first place.

One more p-o-v on the Zizou thing

Every website on the planet this week seems to have a view on the zidane/materazzi incident, and I suppose that’s reasonable considering what happened and the ’stage’ it happened on. FIFA have now launched an investigation, sky sports have chimed in with their take, and even the man himself is about to speak publicly about it, so I figure it’s only fair to share mine.

So here goes.

While I on no level wish to condone Zidane’s actions - as previous rants will no doubt reveal, I have no time for people acting that way in the name of ’sports’, particulalry while the whole world is watching - I can’t help but sympathise towards him rather than believing the supposed righteousness of Materazzi. Why? A few simple enough reasons.

Firstly, Zidane is one of the best players ever to grace a soccer pitch, and certainly the greatest of his generation. He is, or was, the embodiment of skill, style, panache - and players at that level do not need to headbutt others in order to win. Zidane also has great character, great personal strength. In stark contrast to the rooney incident, zidane was not a grumpy adolescent under-achieving and stomping his feet (literally) in temper as a result. Zidane had no need to react that way, because while he might have been slightly off-form, off-form for Zidane would do almost any other player on the globe every day of the week - and then some.

Secondly, Zidane was about to retire. In fact he has now retired. If you were the greatest player of an era, and you were coming to the end of a long and illustrious career, would you, ten minutes before the end of said career, jeopardise everything you had built up just because some guy bugged you a little? Somehow I doubt it. Crucially Zidane knew what was on the line here. He knew perfectly well that his actions would result in a red card. He knew that red card would be the finally act of his career and he did what he did anyway - knowingly, consciously, risking everything. This is not something he could have or would have done lightly.

Finally, having watched the incident over and over again, something occurs to be about exactly what Zizou did. In ‘normal’ circumstances, a headbutt is administered to the other person’s head - mostly for ease of altitude compatibility and for maximum impact. No matter where Zizou made contact, the severity of a headbutt in itself meant he was going to be sent packing. If he had simply flown into a wild rage and decided instinctively to attack Materazzi, his head would have propelled itself towards the latter’s forehead, blood would be everywhere and on some level Zizou might have felt more like he earned the red card. Real damage might have been done to the Italian defender. But it wasn’t. Instead, Zizou quite deliberately lowered his aim, and headbutted Materazzi in the chest, where at most he winded him. Materazzi was able to get up and scream lots almost immediately afterwards so the crucial point here is that no major damage was inflicted. So what was Zidane at?!

My theory is as follows. Materazzi said something to Zidane that Zidane simply could not let lie. Zidane is a professional. For decades, defenders have tried to throw him off by no doubt commenting on his receding hairline or other such trivial matters. But Mr. Materazzi, darling of the Italian nation, came out with something that struck to the core of Zidane in such a way that he was willing to sacrifice his career, his pride and his legacy for. Nothing else can make even the slightest bit of sense.

So what was said? Who knows. Apparently we will by 8pm tonight, though at this stage speculation is rife that it was a combined racial slur and comment on his family. While neither is acceptable the former would be especially awful. In a tournament sponsored by Fifa:Say No To Racism, and in a match which was christened by the captains of both teams addressing the hundreds of millions watching on that very topic, the idea that the occasion, and indeed the entire tournament, might be marred by a slur of that nature is reprehensible.

While Zidane’s red card should certainly stand and be seen as a just punishment for his actions, the cause of those actions cannot be ignored as easily as Materazzi and the Azurri might wish. Aside from the work of ’stellar’ tabloids across the globe, some proof must be found of the words spoken, and if they were as despicable as has been suggested then surely Materazzi must be held accountable. If only in the name of fair play.

My Wonderful Lunch Part II

So there I was, happily selecting my delicious & nutritious meat-free lunch, when ‘he’ walked in. ‘He’ being an increasingly super-famous actor. By super-famous I do indeed mean hollywood. And he was standing beside me. Madness!!

I won’t name names, because it would frankly defeat the purpose of my post, but let’s just say that ‘he’ is close enough to physical perfection that you wouldn’t notice the difference. Sooooooo pritty! Alas that he smokes, and has a really messed up (in an unattractive way) accent…

Anyhoo. My issue is as follows: everyone in the establishment acted like complete tosspots. No other word for it. I heard a rumour once that famous types like being in Dublin/Ireland because they’re basically left to their own devices: if today was anything to go by, I can only assume that in every other country they visit people come up to them and lick the back of their necks if they’re behind them in a queue.

People stopped eating, drinking, talking - all they could was stare. At this poor bloke (who from what I observed seemed like a nice guy, and quite smitten with the girl he was with!) who was at worst making a poor selection for his lunch…!

The line has been crossed over and back so many times that said line is no longer visible (from space or otherwise) and that can only be a sad thing. People who put themselves in public view shouldn’t have to feel like they’re giving up the right to eat lunch. I don’t care how much he got paid for his last film, he still maintains a right, if not to normality, then to spend that money on (horrible) soup at will without being gaped so bloody rudely!

It’s the same with politicians, sports stars, the lot. What the hell is wrong with ‘your’ life that you want to know what he/she/it had for breakfast? How is that interesting? Why are you not??!

My Wonderful Lunch, Part I

I’m a firm believer that all people are fundamentally vegetarian and that our bodies aren’t really designed for carniverous activity. I don’t care to look for scientific proof because neither the presence nor the absence thereof will make any difference to this belief. It is a belief that especially applies to myself, and since it’s harming nobody let’s not fight over.

So on to my wonderful lunch. In the context of the above statement I think it’s fair to say my lunch of a vegetarian wrap and freshly squeezed lemonade cleansed both body and soul. It was utterly blissful, and as usual with my eating habits, having denied my supposedly carniverous body meat I felt significantly better afterwards than i normally would had the opposite situation (a hamburger) arisen.

A sundried tomato wrap, with baby spinach, broccoli, goat’s cheese and sun-dried tomatoes. YUM YUM YUM!!

Add to the above a bite-sized portion of sudoku, and I think my whole aura was in fact being cleansed. Fantabulous.

Why I love Tom Humphries

I’m not for a moment going to suggest that I could capture exactly what it is that I love about Tom Humphries (and all that he writes) i one short blog-post. Neither am I on any level trying to infer that my love of Tom Humphries is unique or for that matter unwarranted - only that it is pure.

England lost to Portugal on Saturday. More on that later.

England lost to Portugal on Penalties. More on that later.

England are out of the World Cup. Again. More on that later.

All of the above facts became so at the same moment on Saturday evening when Christiano Ronaldo did the unthinkable - which he will no doubt be punished for forever more by certain quality publications in England and elsewhere.

I won’t lie, I was delighted. More on that later.

Crucially, from that moment on, it was a matter of time before the English “press” found their scapegoat and bled him dry. Press coverage of the aftermath was never going to pretty. With one shining, glorious exception.

Enter Mr. Tom Humphries.

Sports Monday is worth getting out of bed for, and worth sitting through a Monday morning at work for. Your soul will be saved, and everything will feel better.

So today, mere moments ago, I turned to ireland.com to feast upon the words of the master himself - and as ever he did not disappoint:

“Beckham retired from the English captaincy yesterday, a step back into the shadows which presages a time when English football will have to live without its most overrated player and most overpaid clothes horse.”

And on Eriksson, or “[english] public enemy no.1″ if you will,

“For his timidity, his placidity, his sly spinning and the ineptitude of his squad selection before coming to Germany he deserves the bulk of what’s coming.”

And finally (different article, same panache),

“The World Cup gets down to its final four this week. Portugal, France, Germany and Italy. England would have been imposters in that company.”

I think it’s fair to say, nobody does it better…