My latest take on the L-Plates fiasco

I’m drawn to quoting that hero of Sunday evening RTÉ programming, Miley Byrne - “Well hOly GOD”

It’s sad to see such a public outpouring of stupidity as per last weekend, and sadder still to see that we as a nation seem to be proud of this particular brand of stupidity. Minister for Transport [finally] announces vaguely reasonable driver licensing regulations. Country goes mad.

There are a lot of issues involved - not least the fact that enforcement of the laws as they stood at midnight yesterday would hve solved half the problems - but is that really any excuse for the mayhem? Up until the point where he spectacularly back-tracked (foot? bullet? anyone?) the only major change announced was that drivers on their second provisional, better known as “those who have been driving 2 years and still not passed a test”, would now also have to be accompanied by a qualified driver. Cue outpouring of rage from law-breakers all over the country, on their 4th provisional, who will now not be able to drive their young children to school, and who feel hard done by because they know they wouldn’t be able to pass a test at this stage.

I know I’ve mentioned all this before, but just to be clear:

1. Last week it was equally illegal to drive unaccompanied on your 1st, 3rd or subsequent provisional licence.
2. If you wouldn’t pass a test, you shouldn’t be on the road anyway.
3. If you wouldn’t pass a test, because you’re a bad/dangerous/incompetent driver, how dare you endanger your child(ren) and everyone else nearby on a daily basis
4. In accordance with numbers 1-3 above, you don’t deserve sympathy, you should be arrested!!  

The extent of the uproar has shocked even me.

I’ll admit many of the complaints, and particularly those being broadcast in the media, have been from those on 2nd provisionals - probably because intelligent media types realise that the rest of them don’t deserver (and shouldn’t be given) either sympathy or the proverbial ear of the nation.

One story in particular has stuck in my head - a 30 something year-old guy who complained that he now wouldn’t be able to drive to work on Tuesday, and as a solution openly admitted that he was going to happily flout the law. In that blissfully typical way we Irish have, we seem to applaud this kind of scheduled law-breaking.

Is it just me or should he be slapped in the face and not on the back?

This is a very simple issue when it comes down to it. That man has not earned the right to drive (and again, let me emphasise, it is a right, not a privilege).  Nor does he have squatters rights on the road. The fact that he could, without any fear of retribution, declare that he would be breaking multiple laws at 8:30am this morning, and probably announce his route, knowing well that he would get away with it, says it all.

Seven people died on the roads this bank holiday weekend. The number injured was as ever not as neat a statistic so we don’t hear it. I imagine those seven (and more) families are glad that something substantial is finally being done to deal with the epidemic of murder on our roads. This despite the fact that for their family it is too late. For too many families, it is far too late.

Noel Dempsey may have done himself no favours by changing his mind once bullied into a corner, but in those few hours before he distracted everyone, where was the celebration? Where were the various state, semi-state, support, victims, whatever-organisations saying “well done, at last, thank whoever-you-thank”. Where was Bertie-the-great supporting it so the mindless masses who support him would row in behind it?

Just once I’d like to see a brave decision being made, stuck to, and fully supported by this ever-dithering excuse for a government…

Blogging on a (REAL) page

I’ve taken to writing my blog posts while sitting in café’s at lunch time.

Hence the minor hiatus. Again.

I know it doesn’t really count as blogging, but it makes you wonder really, if I blog and don’t upload it, is it a blog post or just some badly handwritten ramblings?

Tree? Falling? Woods?

Fingers crossed

I thought I might need to rant at some length about England being in the world cup final. Not least because of  so much of the media nonsense, the same stuff that happens every time, about how “they’re our closest neighbour so by rights we should support them”. Rubbish.

But then, in a surprise saving grace, Kevin Myers said it for me, and thus I shall quote:

“I have to admit this morbid phobia, that causes me to start from my slumbers, shrieking; for if, God help us, the English win, we’re doomed to yet more,and perhaps terminal, doses of that fell and revolting Twickers’ affliction: smugby, or even worse, smugger.”

Oh well…

I don’t mean to be rude, but there is no way in which this lady should have won the booker prize. Not this year, not with this book.

I’m not even angry about it - I’m sad. Mostly for all the people who wrote better, more important(?) books, and didn’t get shortlisted, or maybe even longlisted.

I’m especially sad for a lot of Irish authors who won’t be considered next year because “ah sure we gave it to the Irish one last year”, and I’d love to believe that won’t be the case but let’s be honest here, the booker is a strange fish at the best of times and it’s hard not to see that kind of logic being applied.

Congrats to her though. She wrote a good book (just not a great book?) and this may well encourage more young Irish people to read and write, which can only be a good thing…

At least I’m not the only one seeing double…

For a while now I’ve been reading the Indo every day at work due to an absence of alternative time consuming activities, and a simultaneous absence of ireland.com account. I’m confident this has been aparent from various posts I’ve made.

Anyway, last week I read an article that began:

“Here’s a thing. If you go to Heston Blumenthal’s Fat Duck in the London suburb of Bray, which is widely regarded as Britain’s finest restaurant, and where the 12-course tasting menu (with wine) costs almost £300, the coffee served at the end of your meal will have been mass-produced by the international food giant Nestle, otherwise known as the maker of that kitchen staple, Nescafe”

As an owner of one of these evil machines (I blame Mr. Clooney) I read on, mainly to decide how bad I should let this make me feel about myself.

Fast forward three days and I open the Tribune magazine section:

“HERE’S a thing. If you go to Heston Blumenthal’s Fat Duck in Berkshire, widely regarded as Britain’s finest restaurant and where the 12course tasting menu costs almost £300, the coffee served at the end will have been mass-produced by Nestle.”

It’s not just me is it? Didn’t think so.

The opening line is exactly the same and much of the rest of it is near identical. as, obviously, is the author’s name. In other words, I’m not going crazy, this is the same article. Twice. In two different papers. In the space of three days. Surely that’s a tad unusual?  Especially when it’s not exactly an exclusive AP report from say outer space…?

To summarize the article, in case you missed both chances:

Nespresso is everywhere. Nestlé are bad. Nescafé is bad. But Nespresso? Tastes goooooood…

Booker Update 2

I’m insanely late mentioning this but I will anyway.

Finished Animal’s People a couple of weeks ago. Not going to gush about it like I did about the Reluctant Fundamentalist, because it didnt’ quite grab hold of me the same way. That’s not to say it wasn’t wonderful, it was…

I think the problem was that I wasn’t really sure where the book was going, or maybe what the purpose was. The kind of books that get put on both long and short lists for these prizes tend to be ‘literary’ (as opposed to just good?) which tends to mean they serve a purpose or teach a lesson. There are lessons to be learnt from Animal’s People, but maybe the sad fact that they are not new(s) takes away from the impact the book could have had.

The story is that of Animal, a young man whose life is framed by the Bhopal Disaster of 1984, which is taken as the year of his birth. In the aftermath of the factory explosion, chemicals killed and/or infected tens of thousands, including Animal himself, whose spine was twisted in such a way that he walks on his four limbs rather than on two (hence the nickname). It’s an incredibly sad story, with little or no hope offered at any point and for that reason only I suppose we’ll be saved from some dreadful hollywood mOOvie version.

It’s hard not to get totally engrossed in this kind of book, and I did find myself hunting down information on Bhopal, on the disaster itself and on everything to do with it. At the same time it’s equally difficult not to detach yourself completely from a world so unimaginably different, and so unimaginably awful. I don’t know if that’s a failing of the author or of the reader.

The next one on the list is Winnie and Wolf, though with the winner is being announced on October 16th so the chances of having that and (heeyooooGe) Self Help read by then is minimal? Publisher’s fault for making both of them non-commuter-friendly…

Apple Soda….. mmmmm…

Just discovered this while hunting for a non-carbonated beverage at a frankly useless newsagents while waiting for an equally useless bus.

It’s amazing. Green apple soda. The world is at one with me again.

Please, nobody tell me they are a bad evil company. It would break my green apple soda heart.